Kindness

The Lord has been gracious to allow me to be a stay at home to my four little kiddos. I love my job and can't imagine doing anything else. My days are full of cooking, doing laundry, cleaning up messes, and teaching my children to be loving and kind. It seems that kindness is a never ending theme in our home. I have the privilege of training, rebuking, and correcting their little hearts and pointing them to Christ while showing them their need for the Gospel. So, we are always talking about how we are to be kind to one another. It always amazes me at how early our sin nature shows itself and how we are born to be naturally self absorbed and think only about what we want. Lately I have been more convicted at ways that I also do not show kindness. It is easy to see that when a child doesn't want to share a toy that he is not being kind, but what about all the ways I am unkind when I loose my patience or give a short response all because things are not going my way.

In Titus 2 we see that the older women are to teach the younger women to be kind. This quality is essential for us to commend the gospel in our homes and through our lives. Jerry Bridges says that kindness "is a sincere desire for the happiness of others. After observing my own life there are three sins that usually hinder this godly desire: anger, bitterness, and judging,

We are always talking about what's in our hearts with the children. Our expressions of anger reveal the sin that is in our heart. We so often want our own way and not God's, and when we can't have our own way we become angry. I realize this is not only something that my three old struggles with but I do too. So many times I want things done my way and when things don't seem to be going that way I get angry thus revealing what is in my heart. Matthew 5:18 says, "what comes out of the heart proceeds from the heart". Whether I want  a clean and orderly house or a few minutes of peace I am propelled to anger when I do not get my way. I must humble myself and submit to God and confess and repent of my sin. Only God can help us turn from anger and cultivate kindness in our hearts.

Hurt feelings are another thing that we talk about a lot in our home. When we are hurt by someone elses sin it can lead to bitterness towards that person if we are not careful. When we replay the offenders wrong in our lives and become withdrawn and fall into self-pity then chances are we have succumb to bitterness. We have to remember to forgive others in the same way Christ forgave you. As we look to Christ we will be able to grant forgiveness and kindness to others.

Lastly, we need to be careful to not judge others motives. Sometimes it is so easy to assume we know the reason behind why someone treated us the way that they did. We can be so inclined to look for the worst in others. Instead of looking for the faults in others we should ask the Holy Spirit to help us make loving judgments of others. 1 Corinthians 13:7 says, "Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. We shouldn't ignore sin in others lives but we shouldn't assume they are sinning until there is solid evidence.

So as we seek to be kind to others remember it is the Lord who sees our efforts and whether or not it is noticed by others we do it to glorify Christ. I pray the the Lord would give me a heart that is kind to others and it is not prone to anger, bitterness, or judging others. Life is so much sweeter when we show kindness. I want my life to be marked by one of kindness and to set the example for my children.

What is a way that you can show kindness to someone else today?

Love,
Brooke

Renewed Joy in the Lord: An Update

Dear Sister,

Every season of life will bring the temptation to doubt and wonder how God will work and move in your life to somehow bring about his plan. As I shared with you in my last post, sometimes I struggle to trust God with his timing to grow me. Yet, he promises to complete the work that he has begun in each one of his children (Philippians 1:6). After all, his will is to grow us in Christ-likeness for his glory and our good.

Day to day, however, it is difficult to remember the big picture of God's loving plan to grow us in his wise and careful discipline. In the moment of trial, no matter how big or small, it is hard to not be so overwhelmed with the frustration and inconvenience to rejoice that the Lord will lovingly use each situation for our good and growth in Him.

I have been in a season that I have seen little growth and purpose coming from various difficult situations.  Yet, God has been so kind to give me little glimpses of his work on me and through me. Even this summer, while serving in Croatia in various ministries, I have often been discouraged that perhaps my time here has been wasted and that I will never see good results from my days here. I have been burdened by personal sin as well as just feeling dry and empty. In these last couple of months though God has been so kind and gracious to continue to show me how He has grown me.

Psalm 42:1-8

As a deer pants for flowing streams,

so pants my soul for you, O God.

My soul thirsts for God,

for the living God.

When shall I come and appear before God?

My tears have been my food

day and night,

while they say to me all the day long,

“Where is your God?”

These things I remember,

as I pour out my soul:

how I would go with the throng

and lead them in procession to the house of God

with glad shouts and songs of praise,

a multitude keeping festival.

Why are you cast down, O my soul,

and why are you in turmoil within me?

Hope in God; for I shall again praise him,

my salvation 6 and my God.

My soul is cast down within me;

therefore I remember you

from the land of Jordan and of Hermon,

from Mount Mizar.

 Deep calls to deep

at the roar of your waterfalls;

all your breakers and your waves

have gone over me.

By day the Lord commands his steadfast love,

and at night his song is with me,

a prayer to the God of my life.

This past week, I participated in a camp hosted by several like-minded Baptist churches in Croatia. Each year they preach through one book of the Bible through evening sermons and morning small groups, and this year they just so happened to be studying through Philippians.

For the past two years, Paul's letter to the Philippians has been an encouragement to me to fight for the joy and the contentment found in Christ alone in every circumstance. I have read this epistle countless times and have even committed chapters to memory.  Still, I am learning from the depths of this small portion of God's bountiful Word.

When I first arrived, I felt defeated, weak, and so very alone. I was the only native English speaker there at the time (two other Americans and an Irish family would come later for a few days). Yet again, God had given me the opportunity to experience weakness in a new way. This time, I was feeling my vulnerability and dependence on God to persevere as a lone single girl among a sea of people communicating in a language I still struggle to engage in. It had been more than two months since arriving in Croatia, and now here I was alone without the missionary family I had grown to love (the girls had already traveled to the States for a brief furlough) and without many of my English speaking Croatian friends (they would arrive a few days later).  Here I was living life with mostly unfamiliar people speaking rapid Croatian camping in a tent on an island off the coast of a foreign country... Basically, the perfect recipe for isolation and homesickness to settle in.

As the days went on, I began to feel less homesick, settled in to the routine of the camp, and welcomed the company of  familiar friends... but it was the messages and the Croatian brothers and sisters around me that led to the greatest joy. Faithful pastors preached and lived out the message of true joy taught in Philippians.

Surrounding me were so many examples of joy that can only be found in the Lord.I met a gypsy girl who was ridiculed by her community for accepting Jesus, but is so full of joy in the Lord that she can't help but sing praise songs wherever she goes. I heard the story of a pastor's faithful brother who lost his wife suddenly to cancer, but still sang praises with joy knowing his wife and mother of their two children is resting safely with the Lord. I saw a dear friend cry tears of joy as she began to realize anew the surpassing worth and undeserved blessing of knowing Christ though she still battles daily against a crippling muscular disease. God also blessed me with several conversations that I know would not have been so rich and encouraging had I not been learning and growing these past two years, as I studied Philippians and walked through the daily struggles of life.

God used this past week to open my eyes to see not only how God has fulfilled his promise to use the comfort I have found in Him to comfort others, but also how God has been working to grow me through the daily fight for joy in him. Somehow, the experience this past week even open my eyes to see this whole summer and the past two years in a different light. Now I see more clearly that I am not the same girl who I used to be. God has changed me and will continue to chisel away at me, even if in the moment I can't recognize the outcome of all the pain and broken pieces of my life coming together and shaping me for my good.

To see in so many ways that God has indeed changed and grown me over the past 6 years of Christian life and even in these past 3 months has been such a refreshing blessing. God is renewing the joy of my salvation, and I am seeing anew that I cannot rest on shaky feelings and my own perspective of what God is doing in my life. In the moment, you rarely see how God is at work, but maybe two years down the line He will show you God is working even now to shape you more into the image of Christ through the daily struggles of life. So if you are struggling for joy and contentment wherever God has you, if you are tempted to believe that maybe God has left you or that you are too much a of a mess for God to change you, keep striving toward the Lord and seeking to follow him faithfully. Engage your fears and failures with the truth of the Gospel. There is joy to be found.

Therefore my heart is glad, and my whole being rejoices;

my flesh also dwells secure.

 For you will not abandon my soul to Sheol,

or let your holy one see corruption.

You make known to me the path of life;

in your presence there is fullness of joy;

at your right hand are pleasures forevermore.

Psalm 16:9-11

With love,

Michaela

Com·mu·ni·ca·tion

                Recently, you could say communication has been on the brain. It has been the topic of conversation amongst friends and especially pre-marital counseling! Biblical communication is vital, not only because what we say and how we say it play a crucial role in our relationships, but because God designed us and expects us to communicate in a way that pleases Him. Reading books about effective communication between individuals has made me realize what a long road I have to work on this, especially in preparing for marriage. The Lord has been so gracious thus far with me in this area of communication! I read a quote recently saying that, “10% of marital strife is due to disagreement and the other 90% is due to tone of voice.”

….reading this makes me cringe. BIG time! How convicted I am when I think about the things I say sometimes in a distasteful tone (or sarcastic tone!). How many arguments and hurt feelings I could have avoided if I had spoken in a loving way by putting others before myself as the Lords commands.

 

“Do nothing from selfishness or empty conceit, but with humility of mind let each of you regard one another as more important than himself; do not merely look out for your own personal interests, but also for the interests of others.”

Philippians 2.3

Considering the fact that God could have chosen a multitude of ways for us to communicate with Him and each other, He chose our primary way of communicating to be the use of words! How important they are to Him and so how much more important they should be to me! I’ve realized just how, in our sin, we abuse communication for our own glory. Sometimes we “undertalk” by avoiding conversations with others because we are fearful, selfish, tired, too busy, or the topic (we feel) puts us in a place of inferiority…aka pride! Or we “overtalk” by means of gossip, nagging, taking over a conversation, being defensive, and well…the list could go on! In all of these areas we must constantly bring our minds back to the Truth about what God says about our words.

  “With his mouth the godless man destroys his neighbor . . .”

Proverbs 11.9

“A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.”

Proverbs 15.1
 

“A soothing tongue is a tree of life, but perversion in it crushes the spirit.”

Proverbs 15.4

“Pleasant words are a honeycomb, sweet to the soul and healing to the bones.”

Proverbs 16.24

 

“Death and life are in the power of the tongue.”

Proverbs 18.21

 

 

Some people seem to be better communicators than others. While that may be true to some degree, we all must realize that communication is a learned behavior and requires growth just like every other area in our Christian lives. It takes work to communicate in a God honoring way! Sometimes I struggle with communicating the wrong things (or what I should not be communicating). On the other hand, I also struggle with failing to communicate the right things (or things that I should be communicating)….verbally (my words and tone) as well as non-verbally (my actions).  I’m so thankful that the Lord didn’t just leave us to figure it out on our own. He gave us His Word to live by; to realize that Biblical communication begins with a commitment to speaking the truth and allowing God’s Word to impact not only what a person communicates, but how a person communicates.

 

This topic of communication has encouraged me greatly to pursue and practice it Biblically!

 

In Christ,

Tiffany

 

 

 

 

 

           

 

           

Dreaming Smaller

When I was younger, I knew I was destined for something important. I was going to revolutionize whatever youth group I was in. I was going to leave the country for years at a time to preach the gospel to people whose language I didn’t speak (but I would surely be fluent in by the time I got home). I was going to be the next C. S. Lewis, and I have the Narnia fan fiction to prove it. My life was going to be exciting. It was going to be flashy.

Obviously, my life did not go in that direction.

So far, while writing this, I’ve had to put my son down for a nap (always a battle), feed him when he woke up, put him in his bouncer so he’d get some exercise, start the dishes, start the laundry, get my screaming son back out of the bouncer, console him and his hurting teeth (teething is not fun. Poor dude), set up a safe area for him to play on the floor, and separate him and the cat several dozen times. And that’s just in the last few hours.

What I’m saying is this: I’m not great at time management. I’m not a wonderful housekeeper or cook or laundry maid. I need to take extra time to complete these tasks and complete them well.  I wasn’t good at these things before I got married. I didn’t get much better at these things before my son was born. My progress has been slow and never steady. However, this Is my ministry. Right now, in this place in life, I need to be a good steward of my home, try and help David in any way I can, and spend time with Anderson, teaching him about the Lord as well as how to sit up without support or incorporate consonants into his gurgling. It’s not a flashy ministry, and I need to learn to be ok with that.  

I’m learning to be content. My ministry is small and simple, and centered around one 6 month old most days, but it’s where I am at right now. The Lord has given me exactly as much as I can handle. I’ve known people who have participated in the sort of ministry opportunities I dreamed of as a teenager, but they did them well and they did not seek the approval of man like I would have in their situation. I, right now, can’t handle anything flashy. It would make me more prideful. It would fuel my need to be noticed and admired by other people. It wouldn’t be good for me. The simplicity of my life is a gracious gift.

And, on those days when I wonder if my ministry even qualifies as that, I am reminded of Timothy’s mother. She is briefly mentioned in 2 Timothy 1:5:

“I am mindful of the sincere faith within you, which first dwelt in your grandmother Lois, and your mother Eunice, and I am sure that it is in you as well.”

Paul celebrates the legacy of Timothy’s mother. Timothy’s father was Greek. He probably didn’t know the Scriptures. It was up to Timothy’s mother and grandmother to teach him about the Lord, and the Lord used their ministry to bring Timothy to a saving faith. Timothy did great things for the Lord.

So, that’s where my greatest achievement might be. It might be one of my kids (no pressure). Or a sibling. Or one of a million other tiny things I don’t have the eternal perspective to understand. I doubt Lois or Eunice understood what the Lord was using them for fully in their lifetimes either, but they were faithful with what little the Lord had given them, and so must I be.  

A Discussion on Life, Laundry, and the Pursuit of Godliness

                Any decent, self-respecting two-year-old will tell you the nagging question that occupies the majority of their Whole. Entire. Life.

                ”Why is the sky blue, Mom?”

                “Because God made it that way…”

                “Why?”

                “Because.”

                “Because why?”

While I try to NOT act like I’m two, I’ve been asking the same question. “Why?” Why do I do what I do? Why do I not do what I’m supposed to do?

Pastor Shane’s recent message on Romans 12, “The Attitudes that Energize our Faith” blew my mind. I may have teethed on pews, but I felt like I had never heard those truths before. Yes, I know what I’m supposed to do – I’m supposed to love the Lord and my family and my church. But how? Why?

So often, I wash dishes and fold laundry because I know what I’m supposed to do. I hate going to the grocery store and put it off until the point where I am eating stale pretzels and chocolate chips to survive. I scrub pink slime from shower floors because it embarrasses me as a human being – and for that reason only. I’m supposed to be Mrs. Titus 2: working at home, loving my husband and children (by bleaching pink slime to death), and throwing in epic amounts of Proverbs 31 industry and charity on the side. But how can I do all that when I don’t even want to get off of the couch?

                By sacrifice – as Romans 12:1-2 instructs me, calling me to daily present my life as a living sacrifice. As our pastor put it, I need to be getting up each day and having the urgent reminder that my life belongs to God. That is it. End of story. As Galatians 5:20 reminds me, “I have been crucified with Christ; and it is no longer I who live, but Christ lives in me; And the life which I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave His son up for me.” I only have the freedom to do God's will and serve Him.

                By humility – not wishing that I had a maid to do all my work for me, but having a realistic understanding of what I deserve. My Lord was born in a barn and did not have a place to lay his head or somewhere to call home. He washed feet and was a Man of sorrows, acquainted with grief. Why do I think I deserve to be waited on hand and foot? Is the servant greater than her Master? The truth is that there is no task “beneath me.” I should instead be motivated because I’m grateful that my Lord loved me when I was unlovely, despicable, and hateful toward Him.

                By faith – doing the will of God outside of my comfort zone. I cannot believe the lie that tempts me to think that serving God should be easy and fit within my personality/schedule/favorite color palette. If I can rely on myself in my “service” to God, it ceases to be service and becomes self-worship. Another temptation for me is to put myself out there grudgingly, but Romans 12 tells us to exercise our gifts with attributes like “Diligence,” “Cheerfulness,” and “Liberality.”

                By love – Love that comes from God and is not generated by human emotion. It does not experience ebbs and rises, but stands, rooted firmly in truth. I struggle here, so much and so often. The Romans 12 love, the energizing attitude, shows me how I ought to be: “ Let love be without hypocrisy. Abhor what is evil; cling to what is good. Be devoted to one another in brotherly love; give preference to one another in honor; not lagging behind in diligence, fervent in spirit, serving the Lord; rejoicing in hope, persevering in tribulation, devoted to prayer, contributing to the needs of the saints, practicing hospitality.” Rom. 12:9-13. As I pursue godliness, I will be able to do this - knowing that I love because God first loved me.

               So this is how it’s done, folks. Here is why I need to do dishes and match socks and wrestle with new recipes. What about you? Where do you see your need for these attitudes in your life? 

"For by these trials I see my sin."

"For by these trials I see my sin."

I read this in a prayer from The Valley of Vision recently. These last few months have been full of trials that show me my sin... This sentence keeps echoing through my head, offering comfort when I am tempted to grow weary and discouraged.

"Let me willingly accept misery, sorrows, temptations,

if I can thereby feel sin as the greatest evil,

and be delivered from it with gratitude to thee,

acknowledging this as the highest testimony of thy love.

...

Teach me to believe that if ever I would have any sin subdued

I must not only labour to overcome it,

but must invite Christ to abide in the place of it,

and he must become to me more than vile lust had been;

that his sweetness, power, life may be there."

(more excerpts from "Contentment," The Valley of Vision)

I seem to be reminded, over and over, what the some of purposes of these trials are. Lately I've found myself overwhelmed with the sin in my heart. When life gets difficult, what's in our heart seems to come out. Do I respond with a gentle, quiet spirit, trusting the Lord in each step? Or do I worry and fear, lash out at those closest to me, and grow angry and bitter? Do I learn to abhor this sin in my heart and turn from it (relying on Christ as I do this, and not on my own strength)? Or do I sit and wallow in self-pity over how sinful I am, all the while forgetting the hope I have because of Christ and His sacrifice on the cross?

Some of you may remember the Sunday last year that John Street preached from Hebrews 12. I re-listened to this message recently. This sermon reminded me of some pretty mind-blowing truths. These trials show us what is in our hearts. Often, it seems that when I am staring a difficulty in the face, I respond in a way that surprises me, and find myself thinking, "wow I had no idea that was in my heart..." But, where do we go from there? Repentance. Not just half heartedly repenting to rid ourselves of the guilt and continuing in sin because grace abounds. Repenting, turning from sin, seeking forgiveness and reconciliation, all the while relying on Christ because we can do no good thing apart from Him... Because His grace abounds. Because He is orchestrating every moment of every day for His glory and our good. Because He loves us enough to show us what is in our hearts.

He loves us enough to show us what's in our hearts.

"It is for discipline that you have to endure. God is treating you as sons. For what son is there whom his father does not discipline?"

- Hebrews 12:7
What a loving heavenly Father we serve. These trials... I wouldn't trade them. I find such comfort knowing that He disciplines His children. I want to see my sin and abhor it, be sorrowful with a godly sorrow that leads to true repentance. To be more like Him, though it hurts. I need Him every moment of every day. I can do no good thing apart from Him. How kind are His ways.
Ladies, I encourage you in this... Be thankful when the Lord shows you your sin. Repent and turn from it. Put off, put on. Excel still more. He is the one sustaining and growing His children; He is the one completing the good work that he began. Learn to talk to yourself instead of listen to yourself. When we are discouraged, we must rehearse truth in our heart and remember the hope we have. We are so quick to forget. He is so kind to His children. I love you ladies and I am so thankful for the fellowship that we share!

If you want to listen to the sermon I mentioned earlier, here is a link. Scroll down to the sermon from 4/7/13 :)

http://faithcommunitychurch.org/media.php?pageID=41

His love is relentless.

      Forgiveness. Love. Transparency. Maybe they seem disconnected, but these things have been topics of reoccurring thoughts in this crazy head of mine. What’s hard about forgiveness? Is it the act of forgiving or being forgiven? It’s amazing to me how God uses different things to show me his character. How do we know who God is? Primarily through His word, yes. But he also reveals himself in creation, and lately I’ve seen the love of Christ through people who are living out the truth. I think of 1 John 4:12 that says, “No one has ever seen God; if we love one another, God abides in us and his love is perfected in us.” John MacArthur commentates on this verse, “Nobody can see God loving since his love is invisible. Jesus no longer is in the world to manifest the love of God. The only demonstration of God’s love in this age is the church. That testimony is critical…love originated in God, was manifested in his Son, and demonstrated by his people.” I have had some struggles over the past few months. Worries and fears of unknowns, mainly. There are have been some days when these fears have overwhelmed me and I’ve struggled to see past them. Through those fears there have been people who have loved me relentlessly and shown me grace. I cannot tell you how humbling it is for people to keep on loving you even when you’re at your worst. It’s been through this love poured by people that I’m reminded by the One that showed us what love truly is. The One who is Love. The love with which people love is just a taste of the love Christ has lavished on us…and what a beautiful picture it has been for me. Seeing a glimpse of His grace through His people. I know it’s His Spirit working inside them, inside me.  When I’ve seen this love the most is when forgiveness has been extended. When, despite what I’ve done, they continue to show grace. I’m all about transparency. When people are real about their struggles and can share it with others, allowing them to see the workings of grace in their lives…it’s such a beautiful thing. However, it’s hard to be on the other side. It’s sometimes hard to come before someone and be honest and open about struggles you’re having in your own heart. You may think they won’t understand or that they themselves will look down on you for your struggles. What a beautiful thing it is, though, when you open up your heart and share those inward struggles. When condemnation is not poured but grace encompasses. When you encounter a heart that says, “hey, I’ve been there too.” or, “I’m here for you no matter what.” And ultimately when you are reminded that the same spirit that was in Christ is in his children. This struggle doesn’t have to hold you hostage. There is freedom in Christ. He has conquered sin and death on our behalf. He won’t give up on us. He will complete the work he’s started. His love is relentless. This is the message of the gospel. The gospel that saved our souls, it’s that same gospel that rescues us on a daily basis. It tells our hearts that want to condemn that there is no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus. We see the truth of his love and forgiveness in his word, but when we see it working in the lives of others, the gospel being worked out in the flesh of precious fellow brothers and sisters, the power of the gospel is seen. I have no other response but to be humbled by God’s grace and to be in awe of Him. May we be the feet, the voice, the hands, and the heart to carry the good news of the gospel. To lavishly love others, to have a heart that eagerly forgives, and to have the courage to be transparent with it each other—this is my prayer. Sometimes we need to help a brother or sister along, and sometimes we are that person who needs help. We must all help each other by reminding ourselves where our hope lies.