"For by these trials I see my sin."

"For by these trials I see my sin."

I read this in a prayer from The Valley of Vision recently. These last few months have been full of trials that show me my sin... This sentence keeps echoing through my head, offering comfort when I am tempted to grow weary and discouraged.

"Let me willingly accept misery, sorrows, temptations,

if I can thereby feel sin as the greatest evil,

and be delivered from it with gratitude to thee,

acknowledging this as the highest testimony of thy love.

...

Teach me to believe that if ever I would have any sin subdued

I must not only labour to overcome it,

but must invite Christ to abide in the place of it,

and he must become to me more than vile lust had been;

that his sweetness, power, life may be there."

(more excerpts from "Contentment," The Valley of Vision)

I seem to be reminded, over and over, what the some of purposes of these trials are. Lately I've found myself overwhelmed with the sin in my heart. When life gets difficult, what's in our heart seems to come out. Do I respond with a gentle, quiet spirit, trusting the Lord in each step? Or do I worry and fear, lash out at those closest to me, and grow angry and bitter? Do I learn to abhor this sin in my heart and turn from it (relying on Christ as I do this, and not on my own strength)? Or do I sit and wallow in self-pity over how sinful I am, all the while forgetting the hope I have because of Christ and His sacrifice on the cross?

Some of you may remember the Sunday last year that John Street preached from Hebrews 12. I re-listened to this message recently. This sermon reminded me of some pretty mind-blowing truths. These trials show us what is in our hearts. Often, it seems that when I am staring a difficulty in the face, I respond in a way that surprises me, and find myself thinking, "wow I had no idea that was in my heart..." But, where do we go from there? Repentance. Not just half heartedly repenting to rid ourselves of the guilt and continuing in sin because grace abounds. Repenting, turning from sin, seeking forgiveness and reconciliation, all the while relying on Christ because we can do no good thing apart from Him... Because His grace abounds. Because He is orchestrating every moment of every day for His glory and our good. Because He loves us enough to show us what is in our hearts.

He loves us enough to show us what's in our hearts.

"It is for discipline that you have to endure. God is treating you as sons. For what son is there whom his father does not discipline?"

- Hebrews 12:7
What a loving heavenly Father we serve. These trials... I wouldn't trade them. I find such comfort knowing that He disciplines His children. I want to see my sin and abhor it, be sorrowful with a godly sorrow that leads to true repentance. To be more like Him, though it hurts. I need Him every moment of every day. I can do no good thing apart from Him. How kind are His ways.
Ladies, I encourage you in this... Be thankful when the Lord shows you your sin. Repent and turn from it. Put off, put on. Excel still more. He is the one sustaining and growing His children; He is the one completing the good work that he began. Learn to talk to yourself instead of listen to yourself. When we are discouraged, we must rehearse truth in our heart and remember the hope we have. We are so quick to forget. He is so kind to His children. I love you ladies and I am so thankful for the fellowship that we share!

If you want to listen to the sermon I mentioned earlier, here is a link. Scroll down to the sermon from 4/7/13 :)

http://faithcommunitychurch.org/media.php?pageID=41