Com·mu·ni·ca·tion

                Recently, you could say communication has been on the brain. It has been the topic of conversation amongst friends and especially pre-marital counseling! Biblical communication is vital, not only because what we say and how we say it play a crucial role in our relationships, but because God designed us and expects us to communicate in a way that pleases Him. Reading books about effective communication between individuals has made me realize what a long road I have to work on this, especially in preparing for marriage. The Lord has been so gracious thus far with me in this area of communication! I read a quote recently saying that, “10% of marital strife is due to disagreement and the other 90% is due to tone of voice.”

….reading this makes me cringe. BIG time! How convicted I am when I think about the things I say sometimes in a distasteful tone (or sarcastic tone!). How many arguments and hurt feelings I could have avoided if I had spoken in a loving way by putting others before myself as the Lords commands.

 

“Do nothing from selfishness or empty conceit, but with humility of mind let each of you regard one another as more important than himself; do not merely look out for your own personal interests, but also for the interests of others.”

Philippians 2.3

Considering the fact that God could have chosen a multitude of ways for us to communicate with Him and each other, He chose our primary way of communicating to be the use of words! How important they are to Him and so how much more important they should be to me! I’ve realized just how, in our sin, we abuse communication for our own glory. Sometimes we “undertalk” by avoiding conversations with others because we are fearful, selfish, tired, too busy, or the topic (we feel) puts us in a place of inferiority…aka pride! Or we “overtalk” by means of gossip, nagging, taking over a conversation, being defensive, and well…the list could go on! In all of these areas we must constantly bring our minds back to the Truth about what God says about our words.

  “With his mouth the godless man destroys his neighbor . . .”

Proverbs 11.9

“A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.”

Proverbs 15.1
 

“A soothing tongue is a tree of life, but perversion in it crushes the spirit.”

Proverbs 15.4

“Pleasant words are a honeycomb, sweet to the soul and healing to the bones.”

Proverbs 16.24

 

“Death and life are in the power of the tongue.”

Proverbs 18.21

 

 

Some people seem to be better communicators than others. While that may be true to some degree, we all must realize that communication is a learned behavior and requires growth just like every other area in our Christian lives. It takes work to communicate in a God honoring way! Sometimes I struggle with communicating the wrong things (or what I should not be communicating). On the other hand, I also struggle with failing to communicate the right things (or things that I should be communicating)….verbally (my words and tone) as well as non-verbally (my actions).  I’m so thankful that the Lord didn’t just leave us to figure it out on our own. He gave us His Word to live by; to realize that Biblical communication begins with a commitment to speaking the truth and allowing God’s Word to impact not only what a person communicates, but how a person communicates.

 

This topic of communication has encouraged me greatly to pursue and practice it Biblically!

 

In Christ,

Tiffany