Desperately Dependent or Everyday Faithfulness

As I was trying to decide what to write, different things came to mind. When it comes for my turn to post on this blog I try to stop and think about what the Lord has been teaching me. Sometimes it’s hard to pinpoint a specific thing to write about because I see so many things he is teaching me, and I realize how much further growth is needed in my life. To avoid writing a super long/never ending post about all the specific things I need growth in (which in actuality is every area of my life), it all really can be summarized in two words: everyday faithfulness. When I am overwhelmed and anxious and not sure what is going to happen next in life, I am reminded for a need to be still. To be steadfast. To relinquish my desire to be in control. To trust. To believe He is good. To do the next thing. When I am tempted to push for my own way and be selfish I am reminded to love others first. To die to myself. To be slow to speech. To be obedient. Honestly, at times I feel overwhelmed when I see my shortcomings, and usually I’m reminded by the correct response after I have messed up. I so badly wish I could think of the right thing to do or say before I actually act on the things my sinful heart is pondering to do. The words of Paul come to mind, “Wretched man that I am! Who will deliver me from this body of death?” (Romans 7:24) I get so discouraged when I am not personally victorious over a sin. I don’t like being weak. I don’t like others to see my sins. I don’t like to see my own sins. Even in this hatred for sin I see sin, because so often I just want personal victory over sin so I don’t have to deal with it. It’s this burdensome heavy load I just want to be rid of. In reality this is a wrong perspective. I’m thankful for the discomfort in my sin, but I should hate it because it breaks the heart of God, because sin is not something that can be tolerated in God’s presence.  Sin is what put my Jesus on the cross. Too often I am just weary because I am tired of not being victorious; it’s all centered around me. I want it to break my heart because it is against a holy God! My holy God. Even in writing this my heart feels heavy seeing the sin that is there. And then I remember the next verse in Romans 7, “Thanks be to God through Jesus Christ our Lord!” (verse 25) I don’t have to stay and wallow in my sin. I can remember that Jesus paid it all on the cross. My sinful actions, thoughts and attitudes, He paid the penalty for them all. He paid my debt. He gave me freedom from sin by making me a slave to God. I am so desperately dependent on God. To be faithful in the everyday I am so needy for him. I’m so thankful he can lay this burden at the foot of the cross. I can wake up each day not tormented by the sins of yesterday, but I can be thankful he showed me those areas of needed growth. I can repent and trust Him for the strength to be obedient today. I can have joy because He has set me free.

I hear the Savior say,

“Thy strength indeed is small;

Child of weakness, watch and pray,

Find in Me thine all in all.”

 Jesus paid it all;

All to Him I owe.

Sin had left a crimson stain;

He washed it white as snow.

Pressing on!

Anna Leigh 

Don't be a loner!

"Bear one another's burdens..."
(Gal. 6:2)

This has been something that has been on my mind a lot recently. I have realized that I am a very prideful person, especially in the area of asking for help or opening up about some of my struggles.

Since we have been back from Michigan, we have moved twice, had our second child, and Jordan has had a complete career change. We have loved being back around familiarity (family, church, friends, Chick-fil-A...you know, the basics) but along with the good there has also been the hard. Emotional/hormonal adjustments and challenges (gotta love being a female!) for me as I recover from having a baby and being a mom to two young children. Being a one car family and being home a looooot (which is not easy for an extrovert, lemme tell ya). Money being tight. Realizing that not all friendships are the same as they were before we moved- people change.

In the midst of these challenges, I have found myself really having a hard time asking for help and being honest about some of my struggles. I want to appear happy, easygoing, balanced, carefree, down to earth, stable, godly...the list goes on. When I find that I am not always these things (shocker, I know) I come to the place where I realize that I am not self-sufficient. I was never created to be and I don't know why I fool myself into thinking that it's possible. I need friendship, I need community. We all want to feel valued and affirmed and needed. Even more than that I need Jesus. I need His grace. Every single time I fall I am once again reminded that I need saving. Jesus tells us to cast our cares on Him. Why? Because He cares for you. He cares for me. As petty as some of my troubles might be, He tells me to throw them off my back and onto His. He has also given us a beautiful, wonderful gift: the Church. He made us to need each other. We are called to encourage, confront, exhort, comfort and love one another. We are missing out on some major blessing if we allow our pride to get in the way of asking for help, of opening up about how things are really going. I know I have. As the Lord slowly chips away at my pride He has shown me two things:

1. I am not alone. There is always someone else who has struggled with what you are struggling with. No matter how ugly, horrible or complicated it might be you are not the only one to have dealt with a particular sin in yourself or in another person. Find people, godly people, who can talk to you about it and pray for, encourage, and challenge you. Get over yourself and ask for help!

2. Get my eyes off of myself. Yes, the last several months have been some of the hardest of my life in many ways, but guess what? Life goes on. My struggles are not all that there is and every season is going to have pros and cons. I read back in my old journals and things that were just such a BIG DEAL are not even in my passing thoughts now. I didn't even remember some of the stuff that would consume my thoughts at one point in time. Also, I remember my mom wisely telling me in my teen years that if I was feeling discouraged or down that I needed to find someone to encourage. It's literally the last thing you want to do when you are wallowing in your own pity party, but it will change your perspective and give you joy like nothing else. There will always be hurting people around you...so why not extend the love and grace that you have been given by Jesus to someone else?

Life is hard. There are very high highs and very low lows. Are we being faithful through the trials? Are we dwelling on how we feel or what we know to be true? I think of one of my best friends who lost her 4-day-old baby girl a few months ago. It is one of the most tragic things I have ever had to see a close friend walk through. No words can adequately describe their pain as they grieve such a great loss. But you know what? God has been faithful. She has told me that there are days that they can barely put one foot in front of the other, but they keep reminding themselves of who God is. The pain is still there (and will always be there), but so will the love of God. Goodness and mercy will follow them all the days of her life. Their suffering has been such a testimony to everyone around them and they have used it to proclaim Jesus.

Is that what we are doing with our trials? I challenge all of us, myself included, to embrace where we are, give our cares to Him, and to seek out fellowship and encouragement from the Body of Christ. He has equipped us with everything we need to walk through this life and to remain faithful to the end.

Reflections

The beginning of a new year causes me to reflect on the past year and also look forward to what lies ahead. I am always amazed at how much can happen and how different things can be within the course of a year. This past year was no exception. If someone had told me all that would happen in our lives this past year I probably wouldn't have believed them and/or would have felt very overwhelmed and anxious. However, The Lord in His kindness doesn't give us more than we can handle and when it feels that way at times, He carries us through with His grace. As I reflect on this past year I am once again reminded of the Lord's faithfulness in my life even when I am unfaithful. I am also reminded that this life is not about my happiness or my expectations but on what brings glory to Christ. He really does have my good and His glory in mind and the two cannot be separated. 

The older I become I also am reminded of how fast time seems to go by. As I celebrated Jude's first birthday this week it felt like just yesterday that I was holding him in my arms for the first time. It's amazing to me how much he too has changed in just one year. And as we will celebrate Shepard's birthday next week it is even crazier for me to believe that he will turn eight! These past eight years have seemed like a blink. It all makes me nostalgic as I think of the past and the future. It makes me ask myself lots of questions but most importantly I wonder how well am I a reflection of Christ in my life. This life here on earth is but a speck of sand in light of eternity and our time here will always be uncertain. I only have one chance to raise my children, one chance to be Cooper's wife, one chance to be someone's friend, sister, and daughter. I know that I will make mistakes and have to seek forgiveness over and over but I pray that I would seek Christ more than all and that my life would be a testimony of Christ living in me...a sinner in need of His grace. 

As I look back over this past year I can say, "The Lord has done great things for us and we are glad". (Psalm 126:3) 

I love what Proverbs 3:1-6 says as I look to the future:

"My son, do not forget my teaching, but let your heart keep my commandments, for length of days and years of life and peace they will add to you. Let not steadfast love and faithfulness forsake you; bind them around your neck; write them on the tablet of your heart. So you will find favor and good success in the sight of God and man. Trust in The Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make straight your paths."

I so badly want to use this year in such a way that I use every moment, bringing glory to God in each day given to me. 

To that end, here is a prayer I am praying. It is drawn from The Valley of Vision.

O Lord,
Length of days does not profit me
except the days are passed in Thy presence,
in Thy service, to Thy glory.
Give me a grace that precedes, follows, guides,
sustains, sanctifies, aids every hour,
that I may not be one moment apart from Thee,
but may rely on Thy Spirit
to supply every thought,
speak in every word,
direct every step,
prosper every work,
build up every mote of faith,
and give me a desire
to show forth Thy praise;
testify Thy love,
advance Thy kingdom.
I launch my bark on the unknown waters of this year,
with Thee, O Father as my harbour,
Thee, O Son, at my helm,
Thee O Holy Spirit, filling my sails.
Guide me to heaven with my loins girt,
my lamp burning,
my ear open to Thy calls,
my heart full of love,
my soul free.
Give me Thy grace to sanctify me,
Thy comforts to cheer,
Thy wisdom to teach,
Thy right hand to guide,
Thy counsel to instruct,
Thy law to judge,
Thy presence to stabilize.
May Thy fear by my awe,
Thy triumphs my joy.

May you know God's richest blessings this year!

Love,  

Brooke

He Is Faithful

For those of us who have had the privilege of growing up in the church, the accounts of people like Noah, Esther, David, Ruth,and Moses are well-known and can be easily recited.  I can vividly remember these stories being told and retold in Sunday School classes as a young child with flannelgraph boards and posters depicting the events of the Old and New Testaments. While I am grateful that I have known these stories most of my life, I must admit that there is the temptation to forget how wonderful they truly are…to miss the awesome, majestic power, character, and holiness of God in every page and in every story.  

I’ve been reminded of this as I have been reading through and studying the book of Genesis.  The most recent account that has challenged my heart is that of Abraham being commanded by God to sacrifice his son Isaac in Genesis 22.  

We know the story.  Abraham and Sarah are promised a child and heir by God.  After 25 years of waiting and barrenness, the Lord fulfills His promise through the birth of Isaac.  Fast forward and we find God testing Abraham by requiring of him a very costly sacrifice — his beloved son.  

This command of God is sort of shocking to my human, finite mind.  My fleshly reaction is to think, “That doesn’t seem fair!  Isaac is his son.  God promised!” But what is even more surprising to me is Abraham’s reaction:

“So Abraham rose early in the morning, saddled his donkey, and took two of his young men with him, and his son Isaac. And he cut the wood for the burnt offering and arose and went to the place of which God had told him. On the third day Abraham lifted up his eyes and saw the place from afar. Then Abraham said to his young men, ‘Stay here with the donkey; I and the boy will go over there and worship and come again to you.’ And Abraham took the wood of the burnt offering and laid it on Isaac his son. And he took in his hand the fire and the knife. So they went both of them together. And Isaac said to his father Abraham, ‘My father!’ And he said, ‘Here I am, my son.’ He said, ‘Behold, the fire and the wood, but where is the lamb for a burnt offering?’Abraham said, ‘God will provide for himself the lamb for a burnt offering, my son.’ So they went both of them together.  (Genesis 22:3-8)

Say, WHAT?!?!? I’m already reeling from God’s instructions to sacrifice Isaac, and then instead of getting upset or freaking out (like me), Abraham immediately obeys.  No questions.  No objections.  No wallowing or feeling sorry for himself.  Just perfect obedience.  

I have to say that I have been very rebuked by the example of Abraham.  So often I feel that the things God has blessed me with are mine…that ownership has been transferred to me.  Additionally, I feel cheated when God withholds something from me that I really want, as if I am being deprived of something that is owed to me.  

Abraham’s response to God’s command to give up that which was dearest to him gives me hope as well as cause to evaluate where my heart truly lies.  Abraham places his trust in the promises of God.  He doesn’t know how God will remain true to His promises, but He does know that God is faithful and that whatever happens, He will be true to His word.  God’s faithfulness is Abraham’s focus, not Isaac.  

How can I pursue obedience and trust in the Lord no matter what happens?  By fixing my gaze on the Lord and His faithfulness — not my circumstances, not my unmet desires, not my own selfish heart.  Abraham’s words ring in my heart and mind, “God will provide!”  It may not be the thing or the way I would choose, but God will provide. He is faithful to His promises. 

I’m especially grateful that the Lord is faithful to work in me, refine me, and teach me.  I want to be a woman of God, who when faced with difficulty, pain, or sorrow, responds in perfect obedience. No questions.  No objections.  No wallowing or feeling sorry for myself.  Just perfect obedience.  Not because I understand what God is doing or the plans He has for me.  But because I’m rooted in the faithfulness of the Lord.  

A favorite quote of mine says, “A great many things in God’s divine providences do not look like goodness to the eye . . . But faith sits down before mysteries such as these, and says,  ‘The Lord is good, therefore all that He does must be good, no matter how it looks. I can wait for explanations.’” (H.W. Smith) 

I may never have questions answered or the mysteries of the difficulties I face explained to me this side of heaven, and that is okay.  More than okay . . . it is as it should be. My only task is to trust and obey.  Please pray for me as I seek to do that each day by His strength alone.  

God bless,

Elisabeth Smith

We were dead in our sins.

Life is busy these days. I find myself defaulting to "survival mode" all too often, just simply trying to make it through these days without a major meltdown or an accidental nap. I quickly find myself living for me. I quickly forget that it's not about me. I forget the truths of the gospel, what has been given to me in Christ... I forget that I owe Him everything.

"And you were dead in the trespasses and sins in which you once walked, following the course of this world, following the prince of the power of the air, the spirit that is now at work in the sons of disobedience— among whom we all once lived in the passions of our flesh, carrying out the desires of the body and the mind, and were by nature children of wrath, like the rest of mankind."

- Ephesians 2:1-3

I was dead. Dead.

Dead in my sins. Following the course of this world, like the rest of mankind. Loving myself, pursuing my own passions and desires. A child of wrath.

But God...

"But God, being rich in mercy, because of the great love with which he loved us, even when we were dead in our trespasses, made us alive together with Christ—by grace you have been saved— and raised us up with him and seated us with him in the heavenly places in Christ Jesus, so that in the coming ages he might show the immeasurable riches of his grace in kindness toward us in Christ Jesus. For by grace you have been saved through faith. And this is not your own doing; it is the gift of God, not a result of works, so that no one may boast. For we are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand, that we should walk in them."

- Ephesians 2:4-10

Saved. By grace. Through faith. And even this faith has been given to us. Saved... From what? Saved from ourselves, saved from the wrath of God, who could rightly and justly destroy us the moment we take our first breath. Saved to a new life in Christ. Covered in His blood. Set apart, as holy vessels, for His purposes. For His purposes and not our own.

I memorized most of this passage recently, and thinking on these few verses has been an encouragement and a challenge. I find myself amazed at these truths, and appalled a how quickly I forget them. Life would look so differently if I truly lived in light of these truths each day.

When I'm being yelled at by a customer for something out of my control... I'm quick to complain to coworkers after the fact, quick to think I deserve to be treated a certain way. But I was dead in my sins. It's only by God's grace that I can do any good thing. My heart should be filled with compassion. My words should be seasoned with grace.

When I am tired of writing papers, when school feels pointless... Again, I am quick to complain. Quick to want what I want. But I owe Christ everything. I must be a good steward, even in the little things, because I am representing Him and I must trust in where He has me in each and every moment.

When things change, when I am in the unknown, when life is confusing... I am quick to want the answers, quick to seek a solution and not a Savior. He has been so kind. I deserve nothing, yet He continues to lavish His grace on His children. If I would strive to focus my mind on these truths more and more each moment, life would change drastically. Ladies, let us not forget that we were once dead in our sins.

“You contribute nothing to your salvation except the sin that made it necessary.”
- Jonathan Edwards

We serve a kind, gracious, patient heavenly Father. But let us not forget how helpless we are apart from Him. Let us no continue in sin because grace abounds, but let that grace be a motivation for us to continue putting off sin and putting on the fruits of the Spirit. Let us be known as ladies with gentle quiet spirits, speech seasoned with grace, and lives that are not our own.

The Pitfall of Perfectionism

I’ve been thinking about perfectionism and idealism a lot lately. Admittedly, I’m not your typical perfectionist. I’m a little messy and unorganized at times, and if you were to watch me clean out my car you’d probably hear me say a few times, “Oh! There that is!” However, in other areas of my life I let perfectionism creep in. A few weeks back I wrote an article about anxiety and how we can often deem it a personality trait rather than see it as the sin that it is. I believe perfectionism can fall into the same assumption. People generally describe perfectionists as “neat”, “organized”, or “particular”. There is nothing wrong with being neat and organized; in fact, Scripture encourages it! When talking about worship/speaking in tongues 1 Corinthians 14:40 says, “But all things should be done decently and in order.” All we do in our lives is worship to someone or something, and as Christians we seek to live lives that worship our King, and our King desires order. The key here is the order He prescribes. Not the order we prefer in our own idealistic world where everyone does the things we want them to do and everything goes our way. This is the pitfall of perfectionism. I find sometimes I can be very zealous about the things that I want. I desire to be a good employee. To work hard. To be appreciated by my coworkers and praised by my supervisor. To be liked by the patients I see. I desire to be a good wife. To accomplish all of the things on my to do list. Dishes washed, laundry folded, floors cleaned, dinner made. I also need to be sure I’m eating at least somewhat healthy and able to workout routinely. I want to be a faithful member of the church. To be there every Sunday, be involved in church functions, serve where I can. You may be thinking, “Well, all of these seem like good, harmless things. What’s the problem?” For the most part, there is no problem with the list above. The problem arises when someone or something interferes with my plan. When my schedule gets rearranged and I don’t get to accomplish the things I intended to accomplish. When the help I anticipated on having doesn’t come through. When I realize I’m not Wonder Woman and can’t do everything on my list in one day. When I work so hard and don’t get the pat on the back that I feel I deserve. It’s then that I allow myself to become frustrated. I selfishly saw the wonderful plan I had for my time and when I didn’t make it there, I had a pity party.  Man, the filthy dross that comes out of my heart! God doesn’t want me to be zealous for what I want, He wants me to be zealous for good works! For his purposes, not my own. To realize the things that come up that prevent me from doing what I had planned, those things are God-ordained. Maybe I won’t be or do everything I had planned; but if I am doing all that I do with my heart, with love for my Savior and love for others, that is what truly matters. So rather than being particular and organized about what I want, I need to be particular about what God asks of me. What does he ask of me? I’ve been chewing on Romans 12:9-13 lately. Here’s what it says:

⁹ Let love be genuine. Abhor what is evil; hold fast to what is good. ¹⁰ Love one another with brotherly affection. Outdo one another in showing honor. ¹¹ Do not be slothful in zeal, be fervent in spirit,  serve the Lord. ¹² Rejoice in hope, be patient in tribulation, be constant in prayer. ¹³ Contribute to the needs of the saints and seek to show hospitality.

This is what He asks of me. Breaking this passage down I’m commanded to love truly and sincerely, focusing on the needs of others. To hate sin and evil. To hold on tightly to what is good and true. He also adds (somehow he knows I already forgot), to love those around me like I would a beloved sibling! This love is not based on what they do for me or how much I love (or hate) to be around them. To show a sincere appreciation and honor to those around me, no praising myself. Also, he tells me not to be lazy. He tells me to let a fire burn within my heart to serve the Lord! He tells me to be enthusiastic about what He has called me to do. When expounding on this passage MacArthur encourages, “Whatever is worth doing in the Christian life is valuable enough to be done with enthusiasm and care.”  He tells me to joyful about the hope I have in Christ. Don’t get antsy when I’m being tried. Be patient. Pray to my Father; in fact, do it on a continual basis! Make sure I’m aware of the needs of my fellow siblings in Christ, be hospitable (when Paul says, “show hospitality” in this passage, it literally means to “pursue the love of strangers”). These are the things I should be focusing on! There is so much here that can be unpacked. If you’ve got a study Bible I would encourage you to get it out and dig through the associated verses listed. When I look at the list above of what I’m called to do, it seems daunting, intimidating and even discouraging; and it is if I planning on doing it in my own strength! I know I can’t do this on my own and that I’ll mess up. Then I’m reminded of grace. That wonderful, marvelous grace of God that forgives and restores. That strengthens and encourages. That saved my soul. I read about Paul and the amazing things he did for the Lord. Paul will be the first to tell you that all that he is an all that he accomplished was only by the grace of God. 1 Corinthians 15:10 says, “But by the grace of God I am what I am, and his grace toward me was not in vain. On the contrary, I worked harder than any of them, though it was not I, but the grace of God that is with me.” It’s the same grace that he extends to the hearts of other fellow believers. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve seen the grace of my God poured out through His people. He will give us the strength we need to be this kind of Christian.  All that energy I’ve been spending on building my kingdom, let me invest it in His Kingdom. That is something to be particular about. 

With love,

Anna Leigh

Living as Christ.

We all long for something. Whether its longing for the upcoming installment of a favorite movie or book series (e.g. "The Hunger Games: Catching Fire"), a meal to satisfy the stomach rumbles, a holiday after a weary season, or a certain kind of relationship, longing is an everyday reality.

As Christians, we all long for the coming of our Lord to bring about the completion of the Kingdom of God. Especially in the weariness and uncertainty of this present life, we long for the certain hope and destination that is ours in Christ Jesus. Yet, the reality is that we have not yet entered that promised Rest. We are still journeying forward through the mire and muck of a fallen world.

How do we maintain courage and persevere in walking faithfully in this life before we enter Heaven's Rest? Paul's answer is found in Philippians 1:21, "For to me to live is Christ and to die is gain." We see here that we not only have a future hope in Christ, but also a present hope.

We are able to endure and persevere with the hope that in the end there will be certain deliverance and victory: to die is gain. This is reason to rejoice! Paul writes, "Yes, and I will rejoice, for I know that through your prayers and the help of the Spirit of Jesus Christ this will turn out for my deliverance, as it is my eager expectation and hope that I will not be at all ashamed" (v.19-20). Paul wasn't just referring to his hope to no longer be in physical bondage, as he is under house arrest while writing this letter, but he is also speaking of his ultimate deliverance from a weak creation longing for the perfect heavenly rest (2 Cor. 5:2).

Paul uses triumphant language demonstrating his faith in the certainty of Christ's victory. In Christ's death and resurrection, he defeated the curse of sin (death) and effectively atoned for the sin of all who believe in him. As we are united in Christ, we will never be defeated or can be condemned for the sin he already paid the price for. Nothing can separate us from the love of God, "we are more than conquerors through him who loved us" (Rom. 8:37). So, that's our future hope of ultimate deliverance, that is sure because of the work of Christ on the Cross.

Our present hope is found in this: Living is Christ. In 2 Corinthians 5:9, Paul recognizes that he would rather be at home with the Lord, but that regardless of where he is he knows that his purpose is living to glorify the Lord: "So whether we are at home or away, we make it our aim to please him."

We have good work that was created for us by God, and we are strengthened by God's abundant grace to invest the different gifts he has given to us individually in his wisdom (Eph. 2:8-10). If we invest and cultivate skills in any area of our life, we are expecting a certain result. If you want to be a good cook, you read some recipes and learn from the example of an experienced cook. If you want to do well at a sport, you practice and go hard in the games. God tells us that we will "reap what we sow," and that he supplies all that we need to invest and grow in godliness and the Kingdom of God: "And God is able to make all grace abound to you, so that having all sufficiency in all things at all times, you may abound in every good work" (2 Cor. 9:8).

Paul recognizes that, in living and life, he has a fruitful labor given to him by God. He says that living will benefit the Philippians and be used to bring them "progress and joy in the faith" and glory to God (Phil. 1:25-26). This is a labor shared by every believer. God calls us to live lives worthy of the gospel ,wherever we are. Whatever roles you are in: wife, daughter, mom, sister, friend, Church member, student, employee, we have the opportunity to honor God and live lives worthy of the gospel (Phil 1:27). In Christ, our living always has purpose.

Jim Elliot once wrote, "Let not our longing slay the appetite of our living." If we only dwell on the future hope, and neglect the present hope offered in Christ we kill the abundant joy of living for Christ. So, we cry out, "Come, Lord Jesus!" and rejoice in the Lord, while we are still waiting and laboring.