The Pitfall of Perfectionism

I’ve been thinking about perfectionism and idealism a lot lately. Admittedly, I’m not your typical perfectionist. I’m a little messy and unorganized at times, and if you were to watch me clean out my car you’d probably hear me say a few times, “Oh! There that is!” However, in other areas of my life I let perfectionism creep in. A few weeks back I wrote an article about anxiety and how we can often deem it a personality trait rather than see it as the sin that it is. I believe perfectionism can fall into the same assumption. People generally describe perfectionists as “neat”, “organized”, or “particular”. There is nothing wrong with being neat and organized; in fact, Scripture encourages it! When talking about worship/speaking in tongues 1 Corinthians 14:40 says, “But all things should be done decently and in order.” All we do in our lives is worship to someone or something, and as Christians we seek to live lives that worship our King, and our King desires order. The key here is the order He prescribes. Not the order we prefer in our own idealistic world where everyone does the things we want them to do and everything goes our way. This is the pitfall of perfectionism. I find sometimes I can be very zealous about the things that I want. I desire to be a good employee. To work hard. To be appreciated by my coworkers and praised by my supervisor. To be liked by the patients I see. I desire to be a good wife. To accomplish all of the things on my to do list. Dishes washed, laundry folded, floors cleaned, dinner made. I also need to be sure I’m eating at least somewhat healthy and able to workout routinely. I want to be a faithful member of the church. To be there every Sunday, be involved in church functions, serve where I can. You may be thinking, “Well, all of these seem like good, harmless things. What’s the problem?” For the most part, there is no problem with the list above. The problem arises when someone or something interferes with my plan. When my schedule gets rearranged and I don’t get to accomplish the things I intended to accomplish. When the help I anticipated on having doesn’t come through. When I realize I’m not Wonder Woman and can’t do everything on my list in one day. When I work so hard and don’t get the pat on the back that I feel I deserve. It’s then that I allow myself to become frustrated. I selfishly saw the wonderful plan I had for my time and when I didn’t make it there, I had a pity party.  Man, the filthy dross that comes out of my heart! God doesn’t want me to be zealous for what I want, He wants me to be zealous for good works! For his purposes, not my own. To realize the things that come up that prevent me from doing what I had planned, those things are God-ordained. Maybe I won’t be or do everything I had planned; but if I am doing all that I do with my heart, with love for my Savior and love for others, that is what truly matters. So rather than being particular and organized about what I want, I need to be particular about what God asks of me. What does he ask of me? I’ve been chewing on Romans 12:9-13 lately. Here’s what it says:

⁹ Let love be genuine. Abhor what is evil; hold fast to what is good. ¹⁰ Love one another with brotherly affection. Outdo one another in showing honor. ¹¹ Do not be slothful in zeal, be fervent in spirit,  serve the Lord. ¹² Rejoice in hope, be patient in tribulation, be constant in prayer. ¹³ Contribute to the needs of the saints and seek to show hospitality.

This is what He asks of me. Breaking this passage down I’m commanded to love truly and sincerely, focusing on the needs of others. To hate sin and evil. To hold on tightly to what is good and true. He also adds (somehow he knows I already forgot), to love those around me like I would a beloved sibling! This love is not based on what they do for me or how much I love (or hate) to be around them. To show a sincere appreciation and honor to those around me, no praising myself. Also, he tells me not to be lazy. He tells me to let a fire burn within my heart to serve the Lord! He tells me to be enthusiastic about what He has called me to do. When expounding on this passage MacArthur encourages, “Whatever is worth doing in the Christian life is valuable enough to be done with enthusiasm and care.”  He tells me to joyful about the hope I have in Christ. Don’t get antsy when I’m being tried. Be patient. Pray to my Father; in fact, do it on a continual basis! Make sure I’m aware of the needs of my fellow siblings in Christ, be hospitable (when Paul says, “show hospitality” in this passage, it literally means to “pursue the love of strangers”). These are the things I should be focusing on! There is so much here that can be unpacked. If you’ve got a study Bible I would encourage you to get it out and dig through the associated verses listed. When I look at the list above of what I’m called to do, it seems daunting, intimidating and even discouraging; and it is if I planning on doing it in my own strength! I know I can’t do this on my own and that I’ll mess up. Then I’m reminded of grace. That wonderful, marvelous grace of God that forgives and restores. That strengthens and encourages. That saved my soul. I read about Paul and the amazing things he did for the Lord. Paul will be the first to tell you that all that he is an all that he accomplished was only by the grace of God. 1 Corinthians 15:10 says, “But by the grace of God I am what I am, and his grace toward me was not in vain. On the contrary, I worked harder than any of them, though it was not I, but the grace of God that is with me.” It’s the same grace that he extends to the hearts of other fellow believers. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve seen the grace of my God poured out through His people. He will give us the strength we need to be this kind of Christian.  All that energy I’ve been spending on building my kingdom, let me invest it in His Kingdom. That is something to be particular about. 

With love,

Anna Leigh