As I was trying to decide what to write, different things
came to mind. When it comes for my turn to post on this blog I try to stop and
think about what the Lord has been teaching me. Sometimes it’s hard to pinpoint
a specific thing to write about because I see so many things he is teaching me,
and I realize how much further growth is needed in my life. To avoid writing a
super long/never ending post about all the specific things I need growth in
(which in actuality is every area of
my life), it all really can be summarized in two words: everyday faithfulness.
When I am overwhelmed and anxious and not sure what is going to happen next in
life, I am reminded for a need to be still. To be steadfast. To relinquish my
desire to be in control. To trust. To believe He is good. To do the next thing.
When I am tempted to push for my own way and be selfish I am reminded to love
others first. To die to myself. To be slow to speech. To be obedient. Honestly,
at times I feel overwhelmed when I see my shortcomings, and usually I’m
reminded by the correct response after I have messed up. I so badly wish I
could think of the right thing to do or say before I actually act on the things
my sinful heart is pondering to do. The words of Paul come to mind, “Wretched man that I am! Who
will deliver me from this body of death?” (Romans 7:24) I get so discouraged
when I am not personally victorious over a sin. I don’t like being weak. I
don’t like others to see my sins. I don’t like to see my own sins. Even in this
hatred for sin I see sin, because so often I just want personal victory over
sin so I don’t have to deal with it. It’s this burdensome heavy load I just
want to be rid of. In reality this is a wrong perspective. I’m thankful for the
discomfort in my sin, but I should hate it because it breaks the heart of God,
because sin is not something that can be tolerated in God’s presence. Sin is what put my Jesus on the cross. Too
often I am just weary because I am tired of not being victorious; it’s all
centered around me. I want it to break my heart because it is against a holy
God! My holy God. Even in writing this my heart feels heavy seeing the sin that
is there. And then I remember the next verse in Romans 7, “Thanks be to God through
Jesus Christ our Lord!” (verse 25) I don’t have to stay and wallow in my sin. I
can remember that Jesus paid it all on the cross. My sinful actions, thoughts
and attitudes, He paid the penalty for them all. He paid my debt. He gave me
freedom from sin by making me a slave to God. I am so desperately dependent on
God. To be faithful in the everyday I am so needy for him. I’m so thankful he
can lay this burden at the foot of the cross. I can wake up each day not
tormented by the sins of yesterday, but I can be thankful he showed me those
areas of needed growth. I can repent and trust Him for the strength to be
obedient today. I can have joy
because He has set me free.
I hear
the Savior say,
“Thy
strength indeed is small;
Child of
weakness, watch and pray,
Find in Me
thine all in all.”
Jesus paid it all;
All
to Him I owe.
Sin
had left a crimson stain;
He
washed it white as snow.
Pressing on!
Anna Leigh
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