Gooooood, Good, Good........Good Frustrations!

My spring break this last week turned out to be an aggravated mess.

On Monday, during the pristine silence of Peter's naptime, I made out my list:

Day 1: Menu plan, grocery shop, and deep clean

Day 2: Go to the social security office and (finally) change the name on your card to your married name

Day 3: Craft day! Decorate mantle for spring, shop for cute stuff at goodwill and revive, and do the pinterest projects you've been dreaming of doing!

Day 4: Cook and freeze meals to make your life easier for the upcoming work week

Day 5: Relax and enjoy the break!

Heavily under the influence of blueberry tea, spring cleaning checklists, and DIY blog posts, I sighed in satisfaction. This week was going to be great! Productivity called my name. Heck, "Productivity" practically was my name!

Fast forward to Thursday and you will find a make-up-less and frustrated Stephanie calling her mom in tears while driving a limping car to a garage. The grocery shopping has been done, but I forgot the fresh basil and parsley for the lasagna so I can't cook my freezer meal. I STILL have not changed the name on that absurd social security card, thanks to an all-morning wait with a poopy baby who wouldn't nap, the wrong marriage document, an interstate that was a traffic nightmare at 1 in the afternoon, and a pancake-flat tire!!! My dreams of a cute mantle ala Brooke Smith crumbled, as well as the craft project that I was working on when I ran out of hot glue sticks. To top this all off, my squirmy child refuses to eat for the last two days because he wants to talk and play during mealtime, turning a 20 minute breakfast into an hour of tears and nursing covers and pleading and late appointments.

"I am so frustrated!" I told Mom. "I usually can handle this stuff, but I feel like I am letting every. little. thing. irritate me!" I was terse and put-out to the inth degree. Lots of prayer later, I had finally gotten the tire fixed, the card changed, and I was ending my day by watching Peter play on the floor at home.

I laid him down on his stomach for the obligatory "tummy time" that strengthens his neck, arm, and leg muscles. Peter chatted it up with me and played for about five minutes, until his muscles tired and his squeals of joy turned into cries of frustration. I let him fuss a little because I knew that it was what he needed - the good frustration that will make him learn how to roll over and someday crawl and become the grown up boy he wants to be.

And here is what I now realize - just like Peter, I need these good frustrations. The everyday stresses of life are what push me to grow and become more like Christ. How can I die to myself if everything goes my way? Why would I need patience if tires never tore and babies always behaved? The circumstances around me, while not preferable, were not making my spring break bad. My responses were the problem, and the Lord (thankfully) chose to use my week off of work to show me the selfishness and self-centered expectations that I harbored in my heart. The bigger blessing comes, not from check marks on a to do list, but from learning the truths of Philippians 2 all over again:

"Do nothing [c]from[d]selfishness or empty conceit, but with humility of mind regard one another as more important than yourselves; 4 do not merely look out for your own personal interests, but also for the interests of others. 5 Have this attitude [e]in yourselves which was also in Christ Jesus, 6 who, although He existed in the form of God, did not regard equality with God a thing to be [f]grasped, 7 but [g]emptied Himself, taking the form of a bond-servant, and being made in the likeness of men. 8 Being found in appearance as a man, He humbled Himself by becoming obedient to the point of death, even death[h]on a cross. 9 For this reason also, God highly exalted Him, and bestowed on Him the name which is above every name, 10 so that at the name of Jesus every knee will bow, of those who are in heaven and on earth and under the earth, 11 and that every tongue will confess that Jesus Christ is Lord, to the glory of God the Father.

12 So then, my beloved, just as you have always obeyed, not as in my presence only, but now much more in my absence, work out your salvation with fear and trembling; 13 for it is God who is at work in you, both to will and to work for His good pleasure.

14 Do all things without grumbling or disputing; 15 so that you will [i]prove yourselves to be blameless and innocent, children of God above reproach in the midst of a crooked and perverse generation, among whom you [j]appear as [k]lights in the world, 16 holding [l]fast the word of life, so that in the day of Christ I will have reason to glory because I did not run in vain nor toil in vain. 17 But even if I am being poured out as a drink offering upon the sacrifice and service of your faith, I rejoice and share my joy with you all. 18 You too, I urge you, rejoice in the same way and share your joy with me." Phil. 2:3-17

Praise the Lord for His work in my heart and thank God for "good frustrations!"

- Stephanie