My All in All

It is very easy to go through life looking to and waiting for the next milestone or stage that awaits us...graduation, career, relationship, marriage, children, etc. For myself, I have discovered that there are two major problems with this.  First, it robs me of present joy.  When I was single, people would often tell me how sorry they were that I hadn't found someone yet.  I knew what they meant.  These were people who were married and were enjoying the amazing gift of marriage, and therefore wished me the same happiness.  However, without meaning to, the idea being conveyed to me was often that I was missing out. . . that until I was married, my life was less satisfying or incomplete.  Of course, this is far from true.  God doesn't make cookie cutter people and He doesn't have cookie cutter plans for us either.  So, anytime we look at someone else and compare ourselves with them - what they have, where they are, what they have accomplished - we rob ourselves of the present joy that God has given.  His perfect plans for each of us are unique and wonderful.  And often those plans mean that the milestones we are looking to and waiting for with great expectation may be delayed (according to our timetables) or may not be His best for us at all.  This doesn't mean we are missing out.  I can be satisfied and complete in the Giver of all good things.  While our greatest joy does await us in eternity, we can still find present and full joy where God has placed us now.  

The second problem I find with being so fixed on the milestones of this life is that they become our expectation.  Every major stage or life marker that I have come to thus far have one thing in common: they have never lived up to my high expectations of what they would be like and how they would make me feel.  I remember being in high school thinking of how I could not wait for senior year, and although I had a great senior year of high school, it certainly did not live up to the hype I had created in my mind.  The same could be said for college, starting my career, moving out on my own, and even getting married.  Let me be clear, marriage is wonderful. I love my husband and know that I am immensely blessed to have him in my life.  But marriage is far more sanctifying and stretching than I had anticipated.  You see, in our expectations, we rarely if ever think or speculate on the way we will be tried or our real, true, fleshly self will be exposed.  We tend to only dwell on the lighter, happier, or what we may term as "fulfilling" things that await us in that phase.  This is why soon after attaining the object of our exception, we move on to the next thing that we feel awaits us and will fulfill us.  The Psalms are an ever present call to us to make only one thing, one Person our expectation.  

Psalm 62:5 "My soul, wait thou only upon God; for my expectation is from Him."

Psalm 39:2 "With expectation I have waited for the Lord, and he was attentive to me."

There are plenty of other admonitions throughout Scripture that point us to Christ being the only one to fulfill all our needs, all our longings, all our desires.  No other person or thing can do that.  

Wherever you are right now, let me encourage you to be grateful - joyfully grateful for where you are.    If you are in Christ, you lack nothing.  And if and when God chooses to bring that next milestone that you are looking forward to, find all your satisfaction and joy in Him, the Giver of all good things.  (James 1:17)

Clinging to the Promises of God

Recently I have been studying the book of Ruth. It is a beautiful story of God's providential care of His people and His willingness to accept Gentiles who seek Him. Throughout the book we see God's sovereignty, loving care, and faithfulness displayed. One of the things that I loved while studying the book was seeing God's character and remembering that God is the same today as He was in the days of Ruth...he never changes. 

There was a time in the book where Naomi was focussed on her past instead of the future God was unfolding for her. I know that can be true for me many times as well. It is easy to sometimes dwell on what has been instead of looking to where God is taking me and seeing trusting Him. Here are some verses that should have brought Naomi comfort as they were truths that she had been taught from childhood.

Exodus 15:2-3 "The Lord is my strength and my song, and he has become my salvation; this is my God , and I will praise him, my father's God, and I will exalt him. The Lord is a man of war; the Lord is his name." 

Exodus 15:11-13 "Who is like you, O Lord, among the gods? Who is like you, majestic in holiness, awesome in glorious deeds, doing wonders? You stretched out your right hand; the earth swallowed them. You have led in your steadfast love the people whom you have redeemed; you have guided them by your strength to your holy abode."

I'm so thankful that we have God's completed Word to help us when we face trials of various kinds in our lives. Here are some passages that can help us to think rightly about the trials we face.

Job 2:10 But he said to her, “You speak as one of the foolish women would speak. Shall we receive good from God, and shall we not receive evil?”In all this Job did not sin with his lips. 

Psa. 119:67 "Before I was afflicted I went astray, but now I keep your word."

Psa. 119:71 "It is good for me that I was afflicted, that I might learn your statutes."

Psa. 119:75 "I know, O LORD, that your rules are righteous, and that in faithfulness you have afflicted me. "

Psa. 138:6 "For though the LORD is high, he regards the lowly, but the haughty he knows from afar."

Psa. 138:7 "Though I walk in the midst of trouble, you preserve my life;
you stretch out your hand against the wrath of my enemies, and your right hand delivers me."

Psa. 138:8 "The LORD will fulfill his purpose for me; your steadfast love, O LORD, endures forever. Do not forsake the work of your hands."

Lam. 3:19-33 Remember my affliction and my wanderings, the wormwood and the gall! My soul continually remembers it and is bowed down within me. But this I call to mind, and therefore I have hope: 
The steadfast love of the LORD never ceases; his mercies never come to an end; they are new every morning; great is your faithfulness. “The LORD is my portion,” says my soul, “therefore I will hope in him.” The LORD is good to those who wait for him, to the soul who seeks him. It is good that one should wait quietly
for the salvation of the LORD. It is good for a man that he bear the yoke in his youth. Let him sit alone in silence when it is laid on him; let him put his mouth in the dust—there may yet be hope; let him give his cheek to the one who strikes, and let him be filled with insults. For the Lord will not
cast off forever, but, though he cause grief, he will have compassion according to the abundance of his steadfast love; for he does not afflict from his heart or grieve the children of men. 

Phil. 3:13 Brothers, I do not consider that I have made it my own. But one thing I do: forgetting what lies behind and straining forward to what lies ahead, 

Phil. 3:14 "I press on toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus."

Phil. 4:8  Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things. 

Phil. 4:9 What you have learned and received and heard and seen in me—practice these things, and the God of peace will be with you. 

We all have either just come out of a trial, are in one, or soon will be. This is why it is crucial for us to turn to God's Word for our answers and to cling to His promises! It brings my heart comfort and peace to know that we have a God who loves and cares for us and is working everything together for our good and His glory. I hope and pray that these verses would be a comfort to you as well. Remember that just like in the story of Ruth God is faithful even when we have been unfaithful and He alone is worthy of our trust and praise! Turn to Him because He cares for you!!

Broccoli, Chocolate, Discipline...and Me.

Twenty-something years ago a chubby-cheeked little Stephie and her sandy-haired big brother sit and recite to their mom,

"All discipline for the moment seems not to be joyful, but sorrowful; yet to those who have been trained by it, afterwards it yields the peaceful fruit of righteousness." Heb. 12:11

Sitting around our oak dining room table with the backdrop of our California sunshine, my little girl self exists, unsuspecting and under appreciating that Mom feeds us words to nourish our souls. Unfortunately, those words taste like broccoli and not like chocolate.

Throughout my childhood I completely identify with the "sorrowful" part of that verse. The spankings that sprinkle my days in gravely interesting ways cause much of that sorrow. "Stephie, don't procrastinate, first time obedience!" "Calm down and control yourself," and "Don't instigate your brother!" echo often through our home. The discipline comes calmly and lovingly, but as my rear stings with the healthy smacks of my parent's paddle, I feel sorrow. Discipline, for the moment, seems not to be joyful, but terribly, terribly sorrowful. It looms as the broccoli of life.

Fast forward to my second year of marriage with Clay. Driving in the car with blinks of sunlight and shade floating on our windshield, we talk about our relationship and the practices we see help our marriage. Clay compliments me on something...one of those disciplines so diligently instilled years ago...and I have to say, "You need to thank my mom for that! She did such a great job of teaching me!" In that moment, with the swell of happiness from the praise of my husband, discipline seems very, very sweet indeed. The peaceful fruit of righteousness tastes better than the finest of chocolates. Who would have thought?

These peeks into times both distant and near encourage me again. I still often associate discipline with the wholesome and stodgy taste of broccoli. I still focus on the moment, procrastinating in what I know I ought to do, and sometimes, I still cherish the delight of instigating my brother - lovingly now, of course. But as I am gently reminded by those dearest to me, I still desperately need discipline. I need to practice the disciplines of godliness: cherishing the gospel, diligence in the Word, and living sacrificially, among others. As Barbara Hughes puts it in her book Disciplines of a Godly Woman, 

"The discipline of the gospel is coming to God on His terms."

 So often I fail, morningly, daily, and nightly, but I know what I want - I desire the peaceful fruit of righteousness. Fruit tastes sweet, and fruit coming from a life yielded to God's terms tastes tantalizing. Don't give up because the training seems hard. Don't quit because you have failed to discipline yourself for the sake of righteousness (I fail again and again). We may have the peaceful fruit of righteousness for dessert, our heavenly Father tells us, but first we must discipline ourselves and eat our broccoli. First comes sorrow, but then...what joy awaits!

Ways In Which We Grow

I apologize ladies for dropping the ball this week! Despite my lack of timeliness, I wanted to share with you a little of what I have been learning recently. 

As I say it again, 
I have a LONG way to go...and sometimes it seems like this road keeps getting longer. I realize more and more every day that sin is a whole lot of gross and ugly, and that my sole dependence is on the Lord. It is only by His grace that I am where I am and it is He who keeps me running to Him.  

I have been learning through the day-to-day that I must keep coming to the Lord in order to grow. Though don't like to admit it, I am a lot of the time impatient. I desire growth but become discouraged when I continue to stumble in certain areas of my life. I've realized though, through this ongoing process of "putting off sin, and putting on Christlikeness," that growing in Sanctification is a glorious thing! I have been studying it specifically and how it is manifesting in my own life and through my circumstances. Recently I ran across an article that hit me square in the face and so I wanted to share it with all of you!...

"But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control."

Galatians 5:22-23

"Just about every Christian has memorized the closing verses of Galatians and Paul’s description of the fruit of the Spirit: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control. This is the character of the man or woman who has been justified by grace through faith. Yet as we review the list, and especially as we review it slowly and prayerfully, we may find ourselves growing weary and discouraged by how little of that fruit we see. We are still angry at times, still struggling with self-control, still not nearly as gentle as Jesus Christ was and is. Paul’s metaphor of the “fruit” of the Spirit can help us, though. Here are five things that are true of fruit trees and, therefore, true of the fruit of the Spirit.

1. Growth is Gradual. We are an impatient people accustomed to instant gratification. But fruit grows slowly. A fruit tree grows gradually and over many years of careful and deliberate cultivation. If you purchase a sapling apple tree today, a sapling which is already more than a year old and well established, and if you plant it in the right climate zone and in fertile soil, and if there are other trees nearby that can help pollinate it, and if you care for it exactly as you should, it will probably be close to 5 years before you see the first apple dangling from the end of a branch and many years beyond that before it is at its top production, bearing the most and best fruit. Trees are tended carefully, pruned deliberately, and loved patiently until they bear the best fruit. Our growth in character is also far more gradual than we may like but the patience that is to mark our lives first marks God himself; he is patient with us as we grow toward maturity.

2. Growth is Inevitable. A healthy fruit tree that has been lovingly tended will bear fruit. It is inevitable. It is equally inevitable that the Christian indwelled by the Holy Spirit will and must bear fruit. No matter what the Christian’s life is like when he is first saved, that fruit will grow and display itself. The inevitability of fruit challenges every person who professes faith to examine his life to ask whether the Spirit’s fruit is present there. While we are saved by faith and not fruit, the fact remains that faith necessarily produces fruit. The growth is inevitable where there is life.

3. Growth is Internal. Fruit trees grow and produce fruit when they are deeply rooted in good soil and when the tree is internally strong. Fruit cannot grow on dead branches attached to a dead trunk and dead roots. It is not the fruit that makes the tree alive but the living tree that produces the fruit. In the same way the outworking of the fruit of the Spirit depends upon internal life. It is not giftedness—even what may be spiritual gifts—that proves that the Christian is alive, but fruit. The fruit of the Spirit is proof of a deep, internal health and grows out of that deep, internal health.

4. Growth is Symmetrical. A healthy fruit tree does not grow fruit on only one of its branches, but on all of them. There is a symmetry to a healthy, thriving fruit tree so that the whole tree bows low under the weight of all the fruit. The Christian’s growth is similar. Whenever we look at the fruit of the Spirit we need to acknowledge that the word fruit is singular, not plural. The fruit is the entire list, not the individual character traits. This tells us that this fruit also grows together with a kind of symmetry. These traits are so inevitably linked that we cannot have one without the others. It is impossible to truly love without being patient and kind. It is impossible to exhibit self-control toward another person without a God-given joy. The wise farmer tends his orchard with patience and love, expecting that when his trees have been cared for properly, they will indeed bear fruit. The Holy Spirit tends us with that same patience and love, knowing that we too will bear fruit that will attest to his presence and bring glory to the Father. 

5. Growth is Invisible. You can stand beside a fruit tree all day and all night and you will never actually see the fruit grow. No one has ever seen an apple visibly grow larger. Apples do grow, of course, but not in a way that can be measured in real-time. In the same way, the Christian’s growth is best measured after time and difficult circumstances have passed. It is after times of great sorrow or difficulty that you can say, “I used to respond to a situation like this with anger and lashing out; but yesterday I responded with joy and self-control.” The growth has been invisible, but real."

(Challies)

This encourages me to continue "...running with endurance the race set before me." (Hebrews 12:1) And in that process "...grow in the grace and knowledge of our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ." (1 Peter 3:18) Growth is gradual and it is hard sometimes, but don't be discouraged. Remember that God is patient with us in times of weakness. "..He is able to keep you from stumbling and present you blameless before the presence of His glory with great joy." (Jude 1:24) God is good and He is gracious, beyond what we deserve. Let that be what drives us to grow exceedingly more into the image of His Son, Jesus.

In Christ, 

Tiffany

The Little Things

I think sometimes we forget about God in the little things. We forget that we serve a God who cares for every detail of our daily lives... And we forget that He has sovereignly ordained these seemingly "little" details.

What do I mean here? Recently in Sunday School, someone mentioned that it is almost easier to trust God in the big things in life - those times when we truly feel we have nothing else to cling to but our hope in Christ. But when it comes to the little, daily, repetitive trials, it's almost harder. I've been thinking about this a lot recently. The Lord has been using these glimpses of my heart in daily life to lead me to greater dependence on Him.

My car has tire issues. Sometimes I turn my car on and the low tire pressure light is on. Again. I like to complain about this, because it's an inconvenience to my plans. I don't wake up in the morning planning to drive to AAA or a gas station and fill my tire up for the umpteenth time. I'm running out of quarters, for crying out loud. But wait... Rejoice in the Lord, always. Rejoice in salvation, rejoice in grace, and seriously, get it together, Abby. I don't think I bothered to be thankful that I even have a car when I turned it on and saw the light again. Yeah, you get the picture. My heart is a yucky place sometimes. I forget that He sovereignly ordained even these tire issues, and I believe that one of those reasons is to once again show me my complaining heart and my complete need to depend on Him in every moment.

Sometimes I find myself in tears thinking and praying about friends that are just so utterly lost. Friends living life apart from Christ, without the tiniest glimpse of hope to look to. I find myself burdened for their souls but at the same time fighting to love them in the day to day. Letting them know they're loved and that I'm not giving up on them, however that may tangibly look at the time. I find myself wondering if its worth it, you know, this sharing the gospel thing. They don't want to hear it, I tell myself. I'll humiliate myself. Wow, I fear man so quickly. Yet, He saved me, and I was just as dead in my sins. I was without hope, I was destined for wrath. It's only by His grace that I am not in the same shoes as these lost souls around me.

Titus 3:3-7

"For we ourselves were once foolish, disobedient, led astray, slaves to various passions and pleasures, passing our days in malice and envy, hated by others and hating one another. But when the goodness and loving kindness of God our Savior appeared, he saved us, not because of works done by us in righteousness, but according to his own mercy, by the washing of regeneration and renewal of the Holy Spirit, whom he poured out on us richly through Jesus Christ our Savior, so that being justified by his grace we might become heirs according to the hope of eternal life."

I look at the beginning of this passage and I see it around me and it grieves my heart. Then I look at the rest of this passage and I remember that I was just as lost. It's by His kindness and patience and grace that I am able to do any good thing.

I know this post is a little bit all over the place, but here's the point I'm getting to... Rejoice in the big trials, and rejoice in the little ones, too. Turn to Christ and depend on Him. Don't complain, instead be thankful. These seemingly little trials have been big wake up calls in my heart over the last few weeks. The Lord is so faithful to discipline those He loves, and what a comfort that is. The Lord is so patient with us. Ladies, let us be thankful for the little things. Let us not forget where the Lord has brought us from, and let us not forget the hope we have in belonging to Him.

Desperately Dependent or Everyday Faithfulness

As I was trying to decide what to write, different things came to mind. When it comes for my turn to post on this blog I try to stop and think about what the Lord has been teaching me. Sometimes it’s hard to pinpoint a specific thing to write about because I see so many things he is teaching me, and I realize how much further growth is needed in my life. To avoid writing a super long/never ending post about all the specific things I need growth in (which in actuality is every area of my life), it all really can be summarized in two words: everyday faithfulness. When I am overwhelmed and anxious and not sure what is going to happen next in life, I am reminded for a need to be still. To be steadfast. To relinquish my desire to be in control. To trust. To believe He is good. To do the next thing. When I am tempted to push for my own way and be selfish I am reminded to love others first. To die to myself. To be slow to speech. To be obedient. Honestly, at times I feel overwhelmed when I see my shortcomings, and usually I’m reminded by the correct response after I have messed up. I so badly wish I could think of the right thing to do or say before I actually act on the things my sinful heart is pondering to do. The words of Paul come to mind, “Wretched man that I am! Who will deliver me from this body of death?” (Romans 7:24) I get so discouraged when I am not personally victorious over a sin. I don’t like being weak. I don’t like others to see my sins. I don’t like to see my own sins. Even in this hatred for sin I see sin, because so often I just want personal victory over sin so I don’t have to deal with it. It’s this burdensome heavy load I just want to be rid of. In reality this is a wrong perspective. I’m thankful for the discomfort in my sin, but I should hate it because it breaks the heart of God, because sin is not something that can be tolerated in God’s presence.  Sin is what put my Jesus on the cross. Too often I am just weary because I am tired of not being victorious; it’s all centered around me. I want it to break my heart because it is against a holy God! My holy God. Even in writing this my heart feels heavy seeing the sin that is there. And then I remember the next verse in Romans 7, “Thanks be to God through Jesus Christ our Lord!” (verse 25) I don’t have to stay and wallow in my sin. I can remember that Jesus paid it all on the cross. My sinful actions, thoughts and attitudes, He paid the penalty for them all. He paid my debt. He gave me freedom from sin by making me a slave to God. I am so desperately dependent on God. To be faithful in the everyday I am so needy for him. I’m so thankful he can lay this burden at the foot of the cross. I can wake up each day not tormented by the sins of yesterday, but I can be thankful he showed me those areas of needed growth. I can repent and trust Him for the strength to be obedient today. I can have joy because He has set me free.

I hear the Savior say,

“Thy strength indeed is small;

Child of weakness, watch and pray,

Find in Me thine all in all.”

 Jesus paid it all;

All to Him I owe.

Sin had left a crimson stain;

He washed it white as snow.

Pressing on!

Anna Leigh 

Don't be a loner!

"Bear one another's burdens..."
(Gal. 6:2)

This has been something that has been on my mind a lot recently. I have realized that I am a very prideful person, especially in the area of asking for help or opening up about some of my struggles.

Since we have been back from Michigan, we have moved twice, had our second child, and Jordan has had a complete career change. We have loved being back around familiarity (family, church, friends, Chick-fil-A...you know, the basics) but along with the good there has also been the hard. Emotional/hormonal adjustments and challenges (gotta love being a female!) for me as I recover from having a baby and being a mom to two young children. Being a one car family and being home a looooot (which is not easy for an extrovert, lemme tell ya). Money being tight. Realizing that not all friendships are the same as they were before we moved- people change.

In the midst of these challenges, I have found myself really having a hard time asking for help and being honest about some of my struggles. I want to appear happy, easygoing, balanced, carefree, down to earth, stable, godly...the list goes on. When I find that I am not always these things (shocker, I know) I come to the place where I realize that I am not self-sufficient. I was never created to be and I don't know why I fool myself into thinking that it's possible. I need friendship, I need community. We all want to feel valued and affirmed and needed. Even more than that I need Jesus. I need His grace. Every single time I fall I am once again reminded that I need saving. Jesus tells us to cast our cares on Him. Why? Because He cares for you. He cares for me. As petty as some of my troubles might be, He tells me to throw them off my back and onto His. He has also given us a beautiful, wonderful gift: the Church. He made us to need each other. We are called to encourage, confront, exhort, comfort and love one another. We are missing out on some major blessing if we allow our pride to get in the way of asking for help, of opening up about how things are really going. I know I have. As the Lord slowly chips away at my pride He has shown me two things:

1. I am not alone. There is always someone else who has struggled with what you are struggling with. No matter how ugly, horrible or complicated it might be you are not the only one to have dealt with a particular sin in yourself or in another person. Find people, godly people, who can talk to you about it and pray for, encourage, and challenge you. Get over yourself and ask for help!

2. Get my eyes off of myself. Yes, the last several months have been some of the hardest of my life in many ways, but guess what? Life goes on. My struggles are not all that there is and every season is going to have pros and cons. I read back in my old journals and things that were just such a BIG DEAL are not even in my passing thoughts now. I didn't even remember some of the stuff that would consume my thoughts at one point in time. Also, I remember my mom wisely telling me in my teen years that if I was feeling discouraged or down that I needed to find someone to encourage. It's literally the last thing you want to do when you are wallowing in your own pity party, but it will change your perspective and give you joy like nothing else. There will always be hurting people around you...so why not extend the love and grace that you have been given by Jesus to someone else?

Life is hard. There are very high highs and very low lows. Are we being faithful through the trials? Are we dwelling on how we feel or what we know to be true? I think of one of my best friends who lost her 4-day-old baby girl a few months ago. It is one of the most tragic things I have ever had to see a close friend walk through. No words can adequately describe their pain as they grieve such a great loss. But you know what? God has been faithful. She has told me that there are days that they can barely put one foot in front of the other, but they keep reminding themselves of who God is. The pain is still there (and will always be there), but so will the love of God. Goodness and mercy will follow them all the days of her life. Their suffering has been such a testimony to everyone around them and they have used it to proclaim Jesus.

Is that what we are doing with our trials? I challenge all of us, myself included, to embrace where we are, give our cares to Him, and to seek out fellowship and encouragement from the Body of Christ. He has equipped us with everything we need to walk through this life and to remain faithful to the end.