The Little Things

I think sometimes we forget about God in the little things. We forget that we serve a God who cares for every detail of our daily lives... And we forget that He has sovereignly ordained these seemingly "little" details.

What do I mean here? Recently in Sunday School, someone mentioned that it is almost easier to trust God in the big things in life - those times when we truly feel we have nothing else to cling to but our hope in Christ. But when it comes to the little, daily, repetitive trials, it's almost harder. I've been thinking about this a lot recently. The Lord has been using these glimpses of my heart in daily life to lead me to greater dependence on Him.

My car has tire issues. Sometimes I turn my car on and the low tire pressure light is on. Again. I like to complain about this, because it's an inconvenience to my plans. I don't wake up in the morning planning to drive to AAA or a gas station and fill my tire up for the umpteenth time. I'm running out of quarters, for crying out loud. But wait... Rejoice in the Lord, always. Rejoice in salvation, rejoice in grace, and seriously, get it together, Abby. I don't think I bothered to be thankful that I even have a car when I turned it on and saw the light again. Yeah, you get the picture. My heart is a yucky place sometimes. I forget that He sovereignly ordained even these tire issues, and I believe that one of those reasons is to once again show me my complaining heart and my complete need to depend on Him in every moment.

Sometimes I find myself in tears thinking and praying about friends that are just so utterly lost. Friends living life apart from Christ, without the tiniest glimpse of hope to look to. I find myself burdened for their souls but at the same time fighting to love them in the day to day. Letting them know they're loved and that I'm not giving up on them, however that may tangibly look at the time. I find myself wondering if its worth it, you know, this sharing the gospel thing. They don't want to hear it, I tell myself. I'll humiliate myself. Wow, I fear man so quickly. Yet, He saved me, and I was just as dead in my sins. I was without hope, I was destined for wrath. It's only by His grace that I am not in the same shoes as these lost souls around me.

Titus 3:3-7

"For we ourselves were once foolish, disobedient, led astray, slaves to various passions and pleasures, passing our days in malice and envy, hated by others and hating one another. But when the goodness and loving kindness of God our Savior appeared, he saved us, not because of works done by us in righteousness, but according to his own mercy, by the washing of regeneration and renewal of the Holy Spirit, whom he poured out on us richly through Jesus Christ our Savior, so that being justified by his grace we might become heirs according to the hope of eternal life."

I look at the beginning of this passage and I see it around me and it grieves my heart. Then I look at the rest of this passage and I remember that I was just as lost. It's by His kindness and patience and grace that I am able to do any good thing.

I know this post is a little bit all over the place, but here's the point I'm getting to... Rejoice in the big trials, and rejoice in the little ones, too. Turn to Christ and depend on Him. Don't complain, instead be thankful. These seemingly little trials have been big wake up calls in my heart over the last few weeks. The Lord is so faithful to discipline those He loves, and what a comfort that is. The Lord is so patient with us. Ladies, let us be thankful for the little things. Let us not forget where the Lord has brought us from, and let us not forget the hope we have in belonging to Him.

Desperately Dependent or Everyday Faithfulness

As I was trying to decide what to write, different things came to mind. When it comes for my turn to post on this blog I try to stop and think about what the Lord has been teaching me. Sometimes it’s hard to pinpoint a specific thing to write about because I see so many things he is teaching me, and I realize how much further growth is needed in my life. To avoid writing a super long/never ending post about all the specific things I need growth in (which in actuality is every area of my life), it all really can be summarized in two words: everyday faithfulness. When I am overwhelmed and anxious and not sure what is going to happen next in life, I am reminded for a need to be still. To be steadfast. To relinquish my desire to be in control. To trust. To believe He is good. To do the next thing. When I am tempted to push for my own way and be selfish I am reminded to love others first. To die to myself. To be slow to speech. To be obedient. Honestly, at times I feel overwhelmed when I see my shortcomings, and usually I’m reminded by the correct response after I have messed up. I so badly wish I could think of the right thing to do or say before I actually act on the things my sinful heart is pondering to do. The words of Paul come to mind, “Wretched man that I am! Who will deliver me from this body of death?” (Romans 7:24) I get so discouraged when I am not personally victorious over a sin. I don’t like being weak. I don’t like others to see my sins. I don’t like to see my own sins. Even in this hatred for sin I see sin, because so often I just want personal victory over sin so I don’t have to deal with it. It’s this burdensome heavy load I just want to be rid of. In reality this is a wrong perspective. I’m thankful for the discomfort in my sin, but I should hate it because it breaks the heart of God, because sin is not something that can be tolerated in God’s presence.  Sin is what put my Jesus on the cross. Too often I am just weary because I am tired of not being victorious; it’s all centered around me. I want it to break my heart because it is against a holy God! My holy God. Even in writing this my heart feels heavy seeing the sin that is there. And then I remember the next verse in Romans 7, “Thanks be to God through Jesus Christ our Lord!” (verse 25) I don’t have to stay and wallow in my sin. I can remember that Jesus paid it all on the cross. My sinful actions, thoughts and attitudes, He paid the penalty for them all. He paid my debt. He gave me freedom from sin by making me a slave to God. I am so desperately dependent on God. To be faithful in the everyday I am so needy for him. I’m so thankful he can lay this burden at the foot of the cross. I can wake up each day not tormented by the sins of yesterday, but I can be thankful he showed me those areas of needed growth. I can repent and trust Him for the strength to be obedient today. I can have joy because He has set me free.

I hear the Savior say,

“Thy strength indeed is small;

Child of weakness, watch and pray,

Find in Me thine all in all.”

 Jesus paid it all;

All to Him I owe.

Sin had left a crimson stain;

He washed it white as snow.

Pressing on!

Anna Leigh 

Don't be a loner!

"Bear one another's burdens..."
(Gal. 6:2)

This has been something that has been on my mind a lot recently. I have realized that I am a very prideful person, especially in the area of asking for help or opening up about some of my struggles.

Since we have been back from Michigan, we have moved twice, had our second child, and Jordan has had a complete career change. We have loved being back around familiarity (family, church, friends, Chick-fil-A...you know, the basics) but along with the good there has also been the hard. Emotional/hormonal adjustments and challenges (gotta love being a female!) for me as I recover from having a baby and being a mom to two young children. Being a one car family and being home a looooot (which is not easy for an extrovert, lemme tell ya). Money being tight. Realizing that not all friendships are the same as they were before we moved- people change.

In the midst of these challenges, I have found myself really having a hard time asking for help and being honest about some of my struggles. I want to appear happy, easygoing, balanced, carefree, down to earth, stable, godly...the list goes on. When I find that I am not always these things (shocker, I know) I come to the place where I realize that I am not self-sufficient. I was never created to be and I don't know why I fool myself into thinking that it's possible. I need friendship, I need community. We all want to feel valued and affirmed and needed. Even more than that I need Jesus. I need His grace. Every single time I fall I am once again reminded that I need saving. Jesus tells us to cast our cares on Him. Why? Because He cares for you. He cares for me. As petty as some of my troubles might be, He tells me to throw them off my back and onto His. He has also given us a beautiful, wonderful gift: the Church. He made us to need each other. We are called to encourage, confront, exhort, comfort and love one another. We are missing out on some major blessing if we allow our pride to get in the way of asking for help, of opening up about how things are really going. I know I have. As the Lord slowly chips away at my pride He has shown me two things:

1. I am not alone. There is always someone else who has struggled with what you are struggling with. No matter how ugly, horrible or complicated it might be you are not the only one to have dealt with a particular sin in yourself or in another person. Find people, godly people, who can talk to you about it and pray for, encourage, and challenge you. Get over yourself and ask for help!

2. Get my eyes off of myself. Yes, the last several months have been some of the hardest of my life in many ways, but guess what? Life goes on. My struggles are not all that there is and every season is going to have pros and cons. I read back in my old journals and things that were just such a BIG DEAL are not even in my passing thoughts now. I didn't even remember some of the stuff that would consume my thoughts at one point in time. Also, I remember my mom wisely telling me in my teen years that if I was feeling discouraged or down that I needed to find someone to encourage. It's literally the last thing you want to do when you are wallowing in your own pity party, but it will change your perspective and give you joy like nothing else. There will always be hurting people around you...so why not extend the love and grace that you have been given by Jesus to someone else?

Life is hard. There are very high highs and very low lows. Are we being faithful through the trials? Are we dwelling on how we feel or what we know to be true? I think of one of my best friends who lost her 4-day-old baby girl a few months ago. It is one of the most tragic things I have ever had to see a close friend walk through. No words can adequately describe their pain as they grieve such a great loss. But you know what? God has been faithful. She has told me that there are days that they can barely put one foot in front of the other, but they keep reminding themselves of who God is. The pain is still there (and will always be there), but so will the love of God. Goodness and mercy will follow them all the days of her life. Their suffering has been such a testimony to everyone around them and they have used it to proclaim Jesus.

Is that what we are doing with our trials? I challenge all of us, myself included, to embrace where we are, give our cares to Him, and to seek out fellowship and encouragement from the Body of Christ. He has equipped us with everything we need to walk through this life and to remain faithful to the end.